You Have Until 25…Go!

7 Jan

I read this post about The 25 Year Old Virgin

I will start off by saying this:

As an 18 year old, being a virgin right now could be seen as virtuous (maybe still weird by a few woman), but give or take a few years …say 23 or 25…it would become creepy. Odd even.

But because I would have turned 25 and am still a virgin I would equate to being prudish by default, despite the fact that my reasons and religious convictions of waiting until marriage would have not changed since 18.



Now normally this wouldn’t bother me. People are allowed to have their preferences, but what I don’t understand is why the same men who cry that today’s woman have too many partners and should remain chaste, automatically change their minds once a woman turns 25.

This is so inconsistent. 

I think it would be safe to say that this is why plenty of woman are encouraging other woman to have sex before marriage. They don’t want to be seen as weird. They don’t want to be seen as a prude. 

Also, they know it is no longer the 17th century and they can get married without remaining a virgin and that most men don’t actually want to wait until marriage. 

I realize that a lot of men like to blame sex positive feminism for the lack of unsuitable woman in America, but I think men also encourage the behavior. 

Woman like attention from men and most can’t differentiate the kind of attention their receiving:

                     Long Term Investment

                     Short Term Investment 

Therefore, when a woman sees another woman receiving any type of investment from a man, she follows that same behavior as that of the woman receiving the investment. 

Most women follow the herd after all. 

Most of the investments given by men today are short term investments, therefore, woman copy the behavior and receive only short term investments. Woman who deviate from this path will have a lot harder time finding a husband in the midst of the modern dating culture. There’s a chance that giving her until 25, may just not be enough time. 




11 Responses to “You Have Until 25…Go!”

  1. donalgraeme January 7, 2014 at 7:56 am #

    I disagreed with his post. Having talked to some chaste women who have waded through the sewer that is the modern SMP/MMP, I can fully understand why a woman would be an unmarried virgin at 25 or older. This market is plain awful for anyone who chooses to be chaste. Age doesn’t mean what it used to (in more ways than one).

    • lovelyleblanc7 January 8, 2014 at 12:18 am #

      So did I.
      I know plenty of women who would love to get married before 25, but finding a suitable man let alone a man who would wait until marriage are not common.
      A virtuous woman knows her loyalty lies with God before anything else. Marrying before 25 is the least of our problems; a lot of chaste women worry if they’ll ever get the opportunity to be married at all.
      If a woman be persecuted because she chooses to remain chaste, then so be it. Sin isn’t worth it.

  2. Leap of a Beta January 7, 2014 at 7:16 pm #

    I think where the attitude you see comes from is from men who went through their early 20’s in a sexual wasteland and had celibacy forced upon them when they are unchaste of heart and mind. They’ve been led in merry circles within the friend zone by nearly every woman they know, because they’re attracted and allow themselves to be taken advantage of every woman they know.

    After 25, they start to wake up.

    They see the women they wanted are not the little angels the men thought they were (though most still think they can ‘save’ them or stand out in some way that really makes them a chump at heart).

    But, with their half-knowledge and no-wisdom, they start blaming women that don’t put out as prudes who lead them around (when usually it’s the sluts that lead them around). They just lack the wisdom to discern the difference, and blame the chaste instead. To be fair, there are a decent amount of sexually selective (unchaste but not slutty) women that do so. The men wouldn’t be able to tell the difference, and in their naivety blame the solution instead of the problem.

    • lovelyleblanc7 January 8, 2014 at 12:23 am #

      That is a good assessment Leap of Beta. I agree.

  3. Denise January 7, 2014 at 8:10 pm #

    Lovelyblanc, this is an important issue for women that I think goes unaddressed by the church. Virginity at 17 with a commitment to wait is sweet and virtuous. Virginity after 24 or so becomes something else–at least from the world’s perspective. I think because young men receive more overt pressure to have sex from their peers, what young women experience as they get older and past the “bloom of youth” is often overlooked. Don’t fret, though, God is faithful.

    • lovelyleblanc7 January 8, 2014 at 12:27 am #

      Thank You.
      I’m only 18 so, things haven’t hit rock bottom yet.
      I will mention, that women will shame other women for being virgins. They do the same thing as men.
      That is why it is important for young girls who choose to wait until marriage to surround themselves with friends who support them. Their friends don’t necessarily have to be chaste themselves, but at least respect their decision and not shame them for it.

      • Denise January 8, 2014 at 4:54 am #

        Yes, there’s a preacher who has said that women shame virgins because the virgins have what the (unmarried) non-virgin cannot get back. And it’s a way of attempting to bring the chaste/virginal one down to their level.

      • lovelyleblanc7 January 8, 2014 at 5:01 am #

        I’ve heard of that theory.
        It is hard for me to grasp though because why would somebody intentionally try to bring someone down?
        I honestly don’t understand competitiveness between women. It is really sad because I, myself, am a woman…but oh well.

  4. Davis M.J. Aurini January 8, 2014 at 3:10 am #

    I think you misunderstood the thrust of my post; I wasn’t advocating that women sleep around, I was chastising men for internalizing a madonna/whore complex.

    Let’s say a good Christian boy- imagine it’s your brother – is presented with two options:
    1. 25 year old virgin.
    2. 25 year old who made a couple of mistakes she’s ashamed of, and who – more importantly – LEARNED from her mistakes.

    Number 2 is a human being. Number 2 is believable. Number 2 is perfect, but then, neither is he (nor am I, for that matter).

    Number 1? I start raising an eyebrow…

    I’ve seen “good” girls who don’t go clubbing, or posting their pictures all over facebook like most women their age… who nonetheless turn missionary work into the exact same ego-satisfying narcissism. They are just as flaky as the club girls, but twice as dangerous – because their sins are morally sanctioned by the church.

    Let’s turn it the other way around: would you rather marry a man who occasionally drank a bit too much, and acted foolish? Or a man who was a perfect tea totaller, and never sinned?

    In the army we used to say “Never trust a soldier who doesn’t either smoke or drink.” Which is to say – the perfect is often the enemy of the good.

    • lovelyleblanc7 January 8, 2014 at 4:14 am #

      Hello Mr. Aurini,

      Thank you for clarifying, but I still disagree with your post.

      The problem with girl #2 is that they’re all around. Most men cannot discern “a born again virgin” vs. a “25 year old who made a few mistakes”.

      Also, you’d have to really trust girl #2 because girls lie about their number all the time and there is no way to tell if she is lying about her number or not so, who knows what “a few mistakes” could actually translate into.

      Anyway, all of that is besides the point because my main disagreement with your article is that a 25 year old virgin (a woman who actually keeps her word and is convicted) is suddenly creepy by default of being 25 and a virgin.

      Say you met a woman when she was 20 ,who is serious about maintaining her virginity until marriage. 5 years roll around and you meet the same woman again, she changed her mind and had sex before marriage.
      Doesn’t that seem flaky?

      I have no problem with women who decide not to wait until marriage (that is their decision), but why should the women who choose to do the opposite and keep their word be automatically seen as “non-human” because of it.

      And to answer your question, there is no such thing as man #2. Every human is a sinner. The key is that we all sin in different ways. We all have different temptations and weaknesses that we have to fight.

      I would not marry a man who is a fool and a drunkard. I cannot fully submit to the leadership of a fool and a drunkard. Ultimately, doing so would be required of me if I chose to marry him. It is better to remain single and save the headache.

      Also, my brother’s girlfriend actually plans to wait until marriage (a virgin)…funny how you made that analogy. 🙂


  1. The Other Side | Lovelyleblanc7's Blog - January 10, 2014

    […] few days ago, I posted a blog post about a 25 year old virgin from one man’s perspective and my […]

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