Courting? Dating?

29 Dec


This post is primarily for single women, but all are welcomed to read. I was a little reluctant to do this post, but I had a conversation with my friend this morning. She was defending the modern dating scene and I, courtship.

During this heated debate, a few questions came to mind:

  • Why is it that Christian women make marrying a Christian man optional?
  • Why is it that Christian women today defend and even take part in the current dating scene?
  • Why is it that Christian women today leave room and excuses for divorce?

I’m not going to answer all these questions individually because I think it can all be answered with one response:

Today’s Christian women don’t understand the role of being a wife. 

Until women understand the meaning and of role of being a wife, I think they’ll be a lot more serious when it comes to discerning a life long mate.

When I talk about the role of a wife, I’m not just talking about domesticity (even though that is important too). I’m talking about


A wife is joined to her husband after marriage. She submits to no one, but him. Not her parents. Not her friends. Not her boss.  She follows his leadership. She is loyal to him before anyone else. She becomes his confidant. This means his goals becomes her goals and they work together as a team. She is supportive and everything she does is for her family. She does not ridicule or make fun of her husbands decisions and she trusts him to make wise decisions for the family.

She does not mock him or speak negative things about him to her family or friends.

She respects her husband, especially when he is in public.


The role of a wife is to have patience with her family. This is easier said than done. As a single women, the best way to practice this is to have patience with our siblings and honor our parents. A young lady who does not respect her father will not respect her husband. Practice having patience with your family now, so you may have patience with your family in the future.

Teachable Spirit and Teacher 

If one of the roles of husband is to be the spiritual leader in the household this means that a wife must have a teachable spirit. As humans, we want to be right all the time and think we know everything.

“Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but whoever hates correction is stupid.” (Proverbs 12:1)

A wife, along with her husband, has a moral obligation to be the primary teachers of her children.

I don’t know how to say this non-bluntly, but a woman cannot be stupid. 

“She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.” (Proverbs 31:26)

In conclusion,

I’ve only listed some of the duties of a wife and as a non-married woman, I’m sure there are a lot more that I don’t even know about. The point of this post though wasn’t just about the role of a wife and mother, but to consider the roles of a wife and mother and how that affects our dating scene today.

If a lot of women understood the meaning of loyalty, patience, and a teachable spirit (along with being a teacher to their children), then they would take into consideration the importance of choosing the right husband.

If wives are called to submit to their husbands in everything, how can a Christian women who is strong in her faith submit to her husband, a non-Christian?

How can a non-Christian man (or a man who is not serious about learning about the Lord) able to spiritually lead his family?

How can a women (especially one who is saving herself until marriage) date a man who does not seek marriage?

When these things are considered, it is a bigger risk to marry a non-Christian man.

Also, I’m going to define courtship and dating (from the dictionary) because a lot of my friends and other young women don’t seem to know the difference.

Dating: “go out with (someone in whom one is romantically or sexually interested)”

Courting: “be involved with romantically, typically with the intention of marrying.”

It is obvious which one a Christian women should choose.

“I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but I will not be mastered by anything. You say, “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food, and God will destroy them both.” The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.” But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit. (1 Corinthians 6: 12-17)

“So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” (1 Corinthians 10:31)


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