Time to Tear This “Daddy’s Letter” Apart

20 Nov


This father, wrote a letter to his daughter:


After your done reading this, think about what the man has to do and what she has to do?


He has to keep her “interested” (which by the way, apparently isn’t her job also)

“He puts his eyes on the way your nose scrunches when you smile. And then can’t stop looking.”

-“play with the children you give him and revel in all the glorious and frustrating ways they are just like you.”

-“follows his heart and it always leads him back to you.” (p.s. I advise NOBODY to follow their heart, recipe for disaster and divorce, but that is a another topic post.)

” he gives you the space to exercise the strength that is in your heart.”

“wakes up every morning and daily elects you to a place of honor in your home and a place of reverence in his heart.”

“as long as he paints the canvas of your lives with brushstrokes of patience, and sacrifice, and vulnerability, and tenderness.” (yes, a woman wants a man who is vulnerable and tender…HA!)

“as long as he was raised to value the sacred and to know every moment of life, and every moment of life with you, is deeply sacred.”


-Um, gee, I don’t know be “her herself” and know that she is worthy of interest

…My reaction?

laughing meme

Now, first, before I tear this letter apart, I understand that this father loves his daughter–he just gives horrible advice. I know he wants a man that loves his daughter (mine does too),  but it also seems like he wants one that worships her also.

My dad has told me what to look for in a man and I’m not going to go into it into this post, but let me tell you…it would be none of this baloney!

My whole problem with this is that it gives women the message that they have to do NO WORK in a relationship. He has to go out of his way for her, but she doesn’t have to for him. Actually, any indication that she would is criticized in the beginning of his letter. So anything as simple as making him a sandwich or bringing him a beer is a NO! But he is expected to hand over his life to her…Even if she did manage to do all those things in the beginning, that doesn’t amount to the sacrifice that he is making for her.

I pray for his daughter. She will (I pray to God not) go into a relationship expecting to receive, receive, and receive without learning self sacrifice. She won’t be encouraged to stay sexy, but probably expects her husband to. She won’t be encouraged to serve him, but probably expects her husband to serve her.

And when she lays next to her husband late at night and there is a loud bang, I’m sure she’ll feel extra safe with her “vulnerable” and “tender” husband.

And if he follows his heart…it won’t lead him back to her.

Oh, and it doesn’t matter what his religion is…as long as his religion is her and he worships her.

That doesn’t sound like a perfect equal relationship and this is why I have a problem with self-esteem because that is where it will all stems from.


5 Responses to “Time to Tear This “Daddy’s Letter” Apart”

  1. femininebutnotfeminist November 20, 2013 at 10:23 pm #

    This father has no idea that he is setting his beloved little girl up for heartbreak after heartbreak. Hopefully she learns better prior to growing up! Good post LLB! 🙂

    • lovelyleblanc7 November 20, 2013 at 10:36 pm #

      For real, I feel so bad for this girl. I’m praying for her since it is the father’s fault.
      Thanks! 🙂

      • femininebutnotfeminist November 20, 2013 at 10:47 pm #

        You’re very welcome! Perhaps this girl will be smart enough to rebel against her dad’s bad advice. While rebellion is normally not a good thing, in this case it would be better for her.

      • lovelyleblanc7 November 20, 2013 at 11:09 pm #

        It is not rebelling if she chooses to do the right thing. 🙂

      • femininebutnotfeminist November 20, 2013 at 11:15 pm #

        Touche’ lol 😀

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