I was initially going to post this on my new blog, “A New Shade of Feminine”, but opted against it because I just want to share some thoughts (that may or may not be organized).
I really believe feminism is a condition of the heart and not just some “western invention”. The west may condone and encourage it, but they did not invent it.
Too often men put women of other races on a pedestal. I always laugh because I have friends of many races, most who are Asian and some who are European.
News Flash: It doesn’t matter the race or the culture, most women are the same.
I’ve seen Asian and European women cheat on their boyfriends or white American men who marry the “sweet” Japanese girl. (haha, if only they really knew)
Women are women at the end of the day, some, more selfish than others but I assure you race doesn’t always play the biggest role.
Women would benefit by trying to understand men, but most will not even attempt.
This leads me to my second point: cheating/adultery.
I was talking to a good friend of mine, who is Japanese (and no, she was not raised in America). She is engaged and I am very happy for her. We were watching a movie, Transporter 2. There is a scene in the movie, where the wife of a rich man is about to commit adultery with the protagonist (who is played by Jason Statham).
She comes in his house late at night wearing a see through white shirt and a short skirt. She is obviously drunk. She tries to force herself on him, but he pushes her away and says, “no.”
This is where the conversation between my friend and I began.
I say: “That is wrong.”
Her: “But it is complicated.”
Me:”Still, cheating is wrong, I wouldn’t want anybody to do that to me.”
Her:”Yes, but I understand her. Sometimes I feel that way.”
Me: “But she has a kid. What about the kid? Adultery is always wrong. Do you think it is wrong?”
Her: “Yes, I do, but it is her life”
Me:”So, she still shouldn’t do it.”
Her; “OK, (my name inserted here), but it is complicated.”
At this point, I decided to end the conversation. I can tell she was getting little upset or bothered by the conversation and it was going nowhere.
But in my mind, I was still thinking over about the conversation. I boiled it down to two problems that are wrong in today’s society: Marriage and understanding men.
“But it is her life”
Is a very common example of today’s tragic state of marriage. If a woman has this mentality before marriage, she will carry it after marriage. Marriage is not “her life” or “his life.” It is “our life.”
“6 But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ 7 ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, 8 and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. 9 What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” (Mark 10:6-9)
As long as the mentality of marriage is “her, his, mine” the two will never be fully joined together. I don’t care if somebody is Christian or not, most would agree that marriage is teamwork.
It is in human nature to rationalize doing something wrong, but it still doesn’t make it right. Our culture today says, “There is no need for guilt or shame” instead of asking “Why do I feel guilt and shame?”
2) Understanding Men
Most women really don’t know, but if they sought to understand men they would seriously reap the benefits.
In my psychology class last year, my professor talked to us about a survey done between men and women. It had only two options. The question was, “Which would make you more upset? If your partner.
A: Slept with another person
B: Fell in love with anther person
As you can guess, Choice A was popular with men and Choice B was popular with women. Of course, there is a biological/psychological reason for this, which I am not going to go into.
If a woman understood why some men are reluctant to commit and get married, they would know a man’s biggest fear.
I’ll give you a hint: Don’t cheat/commit adultery. There is no worse way to shoot yourself in the foot.
No man wants to be cuckold. Most men’s biological response to cuckoldry is to kill the man (sometimes the wife)
Of course this doesn’t make it right. Most husbands would want to kill the guy because that is a conditioned biological response for most. It doesn’t make it right, but understanding how men think and what women and men consider to be cheating is important.
My (obvious) advice to women: If you are in a relationship, do not emotionally or physically get involved with another man. If you are unmarried, it is better to end the relationship.
My next post will not be such a heavy topic, but I would like to hear your thoughts in the comments.